How to have a healthy divorce
A 6 session program of counselling and guidance on how to have a healthy divorce for individuals and couples with children.
Session 1: where are you now?
• Overview of the 6 sessions: working to help create a more amicable separation and divorce
• Fight or flight? Threat and survival? Soothing the demon of divorce
• Divorce: the facts, the figures, the social meaning
• The legal, financial, emotional and parenting aspects
• Exploring the issues: the “broken” family tree
• Telling the children well
• Attachment and loss
• Your separation/divorce map and your territory
Session 2: what happened? What lead up to it?
• Couple work: exploring the issues more deeply
• Working to discharge feelings and thoughts
• Exploring family background and couple fit
• Identifying strengths
• The ARO (action plus reaction equals outcome) model of change
• The second arrow: putting myself down
Session 3: nuts and bolts of relationships and their breakdown
• The loss cycle: grief, fear, anger and depression
• The drama triangle, taking time out from grinding each other down
• Looking after you, self compassion
• Your support-extending your support. What more might you need?
• Moving on and the Velcro relationship (Why can’t I move on? What’s wrong with me?)
Session 4: what needs to happen next, versus what you want to happen next
• Parenting: what’s best for the children?
• What children need, what children don’t need
• Typical reactions of children
• How to do contact: tips and techniques
• Creating a business like relationship
• Your best baby sitter
Session 5: roots of a relationship, feelings that won’t go away
• Moving on and the Velcro relationship 2
• Past issues
• Future thoughts
• Who needs to win?
Session 6: look back in…what? And moving on
• Your life, your choices: ARO revisited
• How do you want to look back on this in a year…2 years
• Introducing a new partner
• What do you want your children to be saying about this in…10…years ahead?
• Your map revisited
• Creating a stepfamily