Breadcrumbing: what is it, what should I do about it?

Breadcrumbing: what is it, what should I do about it?

Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out short invitational but non-committed text messages in order to string along and reel in the receiver.

It is usually enacted in a “romantic” relationship yet there is very little in the activity that could be counted on as romantic. It’s said to be done in order that the two stay on each other’s radar, yet the trail of small and yet manipulative texts sent out are in fact sadistic and quite abusive, for there is no intention in the message to do anything other than make you as the receiver get caught up in a self-serving and sick game. Like a tiny bird you keep pecking away in hope at getting more-but you don’t get any more, ever; what you get is a kind of hunger for more which is denied. Sick.

These texts are not conversations, they are not connections, they are the mark of abusive attempts to boost the sender’s ego and disempower the receiver.

Signs of Breadcrumbing

  1. They are noncommittal: the sender will not agree to actually meeting up
  2. They are vague: the text is chaotic
  3. They are meaningless and stupid: “hey u fela” with a smiley
  4. They are emotionally numb: there is no feeling or emotional content
  5. They arrive out the blue, are sporadic and vanish quickly: you don’t hear from the sender for weeks
  6. The leave you feeling hopeful and hopeless at the same time: a sure sign of abuse

What to do if you feel you are being breadcrumbed

  1. Reply to the text, asking for a specific meet up
  2. When you don’t get one, and you won’t, block them

 

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